It has been quite a journey from being a career-driven woman to a full-time mom! Not once has the wild ride stopped, allowing me to get off and rest, but God has been there every step of the way.
Six years ago my husband and I were busy making money and acquiring "things." Neither of us were interested in having children, but after I turned 30 my biological clock started ticking and my attitude began to change. Jim, however, still felt that he never wanted to have children. I tried to accept this fact because I didn't believe God could change Jim's heart, but He did.
Even after Jim changed his mind I wasn't sure if I could be a stay-at-home mom because I had always thought of them as "cop-outs" who couldn't handle a "real" job. Instead I decided I could have it all-I would be the best wife, mother, programmer, etc. there ever was. This time God changed my heart. As soon as I found out I was pregnant all I could think about was how I wanted to quit my job. I didn't know how that could happen because of financial concerns, and because I feared God would punish me for having such a critical attitude. I now know better. It got harder and harder to continue working in the following months. I think God allowed that to happen so that it would be easy for me to leave when the time came. My prayer became, "God, please let me stay home with my baby!"
I received encouragement from friends. One, a stay-at-home mom, assured me that it never looks like it is possible on paper but it really does work out. She reminded me that God gave me this desire and He would see it-and me-through. It was the first time I saw the roll of "mom" as a high calling from God. It was what He wanted for me. Wow!
How would God accomplish this? Learning to live on one salary would certainly be difficult. God allowed us to wait until right before our son was born to give us a special gift-Jim got a wonderful job paying about twice as much as his previous salary! After taking my maternity leave I left my job and received a generous bonus. Even with my husband's new job, the great bonus, and God's guiding hand, it was difficult to adjust to one income, especially with the credit card and other debt we had foolishly incurred throughout the years. It is tight every month but He always comes through for us.
There were a series of miracles God performed to show us He was still in control, but my favorite one was when I was planning to register for the next CBS class. Money was scarce, and I didn't have the amount needed for registration. God had provided for everything else so I was sure He would provide for this as well. I boldly wrote the check, trusting that the money would be in the bank in time for the check to clear. As soon as I wrote the check a member of my Core Group approached me. She said that God had burdened her heart for me and that she wanted to pay my registration for CBS. My heart was so thankful! I still have that voided check in the pages of my Bible as a reminder that God knows our every need and provides for us.
We have learned to be frugal, and we have thankful hearts. Our son, Ian, has turned our world upside down. Jim now says as he looks down at his sleeping son, "If I had known how wonderful this was going to be we would have had a dozen by now!" [ Janet isn't sure about a dozen, but she, Jim, and Ian welcomed a new baby boy, Clayton Jamison, into the family in January.]
It has not always been easy getting used to this new career. At first I really thought it would be the perfect "Leave It To Beaver" life for me. I would have supper waiting for Jim when he came home, the appliances would sparkle, I'd have time to write the All-American novel, read the classics-well, you get the idea. How quickly did that bubble burst.
God continues to teach me each day, and I am still learning and growing, even struggling at times. When I think of how the Lord has brought me from a high-powered business woman, to this point in my life, I am amazed. Only He could have performed this miracle.
Time In A Day
There are crumbs on the bottoms of my feet,
The walls are covered in goo.
The laundry pile reaches up to the sky,
I cannot find my own left shoe.
Toys are strewn across every room,
My bathroom is not immune.
Quiet time, what is that?
I hum along to nursery tunes.
Something in my head has changed,
"Lost brain cells" is my guess.
Gone are the days of "power suits"
A big challenge I confess.
But there he sits and plays in bliss,
As I hold back the tears.
A smile, a laugh, a sneeze, a cry,
All music to my ears.
I can do nothing but praise you, God,
The giver of this precious treasure.
I know not of a higher calling,
I've not known a greater pleasure.
I am a mom, and I have to say
That nothing else will do,
Than to raise this child in your Word
And see him come to know You.
So help me, Lord.
When my schedule starts to fill.
There is sufficient time in a day
To do my Father's will.
Janet Wilbur
Richmond North, VA CBS