In 1999 my sister and brother-in-law, who are very strong Christians, gave me an NIV Study Bible for Christmas. I thought, "That's great! But I'd really rather have a necklace!" I was doing fine on my own, thank you, and God, let alone Jesus, had no place in my busy, successful life.
When we were young my mother took us to Sunday School and church every week where we heard stories from the Bible. During my college years I stopped going to church and pushed away any religious teaching my family had tried to instill in me. I was sure I knew more about life than they.
I studied alternative religions and decided there might be a God, but the most important thing was to be a good person. It didn't matter if you believed in Jesus or not, because He was just a wise prophet and couldn't really be the Son of God. It was a lie that I allowed myself to believe. In the search for my own path in life, I had chosen one without God or Jesus.
After graduation, I did exactly what the world system said would make me successful and bring me happiness. I landed a sought after position working for a Big 6 Consulting Company implementing computer systems. My position required working excessively long hours and traveling constantly, but I was sure it would pay off in the end and believed I was on the fast track to success. During this time, I married another high achieving consultant who was planning to pursue his MBA from a Top 5 school.
By June 1999 I had an intelligent, driven husband, a six-figure salary, power, prestige, a jet-set life, and had been promoted to Junior Partner. I was twenty-eight years old!
According to the world's standard I had it all, but soon after my big promotion I started to realize how unhappy I was. The money, power, prestige, and a high-powered title brought along with it thoughts like, "Is this all there is? Is this what I have worked for, what life's all about?" This was what the world told me would really make me happy, but in actuality I was more miserable than when I started this journey. What was wrong with me?
Self-help books must have the answers for a happier life I thought-after all they were all were bestsellers! After reading them my life got worse, not better, and my stress was unbearable. I felt emotionally drained, depressed, disconnected from my family, and I just wanted the treadmill to stop. Leaving my job seemed to be the solution, and I finally got up the nerve to ask my husband if I could please quit when he graduated from grad school. In July of 2000 I did just that, confusing co-workers, family, and friends. Everyone wondered why I would give up the money and an exciting life. I had already achieved what most people only dream of. But I had an unbelievable calm about my decision that even I could not explain. I knew I was doing the right thing.
After his graduation, my husband took a job with a large company's leadership program, which would require our moving a lot over the next two years because it was necessary for him to get cross-functional experience. His first assignment was in Charlotte, NC where I started my homemaking career.
Not quite sure what to expect, I was a bit scared. I had long defined myself through my title, prestige, and a high flying lifestyle. Soon the household chores became routine: dinner on the table every day, pressed clothes in the closets, and folded laundry. I was somewhat content but lonely. Mentioning the loneliness to my sister Debi-the one who gave me the Bible-she said, "Why don't you see if there is a Community Bible Study in Charlotte? You would meet a lot of nice women, and you would spend time reading the Bible each day. It might be what you are looking for." Instead of saying, "No way!" I thought, "Of course, that is what I need to do, without question." So I went to CBS class in September looking for companionship and something to do. Little did I know what God had in store for me.
In the first class it was suggested that before we read the Bible we should ask the Holy Spirit to reveal a better understanding of God's Word and how it applies to our lives. Really? I never knew before what the Holy Spirit did! It shocked me to think the Bible was supposed to impact my life today since I assumed it was just a bunch of nice centuries-old stories that you listened to on Sunday morning. But I decided to give it a try, half-heartedly at first, I have to admit.
Every day when I did my Bible study I would pray, "God please bring the Holy Spirit to me so I can understand your Word better." Suddenly the stories from childhood started taking on more meaning, and I remember vividly the first thing the Holy Spirit revealed to me. We read the genealogy of Joseph and Mary and compared it to the Old Testament prophecy of the Messiah. No longer did it seem like sheer coincidence that they lined up so closely. Could Jesus be the Messiah?
In one of our Core Group discussions a member mentioned the book, A Case For Christ, by Lee Strobel. Curious about what this journalist had to say about Jesus being the Son of God, I bought the book. The Holy Spirit was leading me to investigate. The author, who was originally an atheist, used the facts convincingly, and I began considering the possibility that Jesus wasn't just some wise man or magician. The Bible reading each day for CBS was saying the same thing. My heart was slowly opening and I knew deep in my soul that Jesus was real. He had lived and He was the Son of God and the Savior of the world.
God was working in my daily life through His Holy Spirit and His Word. I came to realize He loves me, knows me, and is concerned about my soul. I knew I wanted to make my heart right before Him, and the Bible is the greatest self-help book ever. With each CBS lesson, the Holy Spirit gave me a whole knew perspective on the world through the eyes of Jesus. God's will became clear to me and I wanted to obey Him which brought incomparable joy and happiness. The more I read, prayed, got encouragement from my Core Group, and listened to the lecture, the more I realized "This is it! This is what life's really about. I simply need to trust Him and turn things over to Him." God's Spirit has been guiding me, and since September I am truly born again into a new life.
The joy and peace that God has grown in my heart is immeasurable compared to those worldly ambitions in which I tried to find happiness. I no longer needed them to make me feel complete; in fact, I no longer even wanted them. What I do need is a personal, daily relationship with God, a friend to lean on called Jesus, the Holy Spirit to nudge me along, and this Bible, which I didn't even want when it was given to me. It has the answers I need to live the life I was searching for.
Until the summer of 2000, I did everything I was supposed to do to be great in this world. Now I know that my life is about yearning to know the Lord better through a daily walk with Him and everything else falls into place after that.
Little did I know when I quit my job in July that it was God's work. Thanks to my mother for planting the seed in me as a child to know there was a God, and to my sister who gave me a Bible and suggested I go to CBS. This ministry has been a catalyst for me to know God on a personal level and to know for certain that Jesus is my Savior and friend. Praise God that no matter how lost we are He comes after His lost sheep. I was one of the lost sheep and God came after me and seized me when I least expected it. The Bible says, "there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents" (Luke 15:10). I know they are rejoicing in heaven over me.
Linda Gibula
Charlotte, NC CBS